Monday, August 6, 2012

breaking up is hard to do

No, this is not a post bashing a previous relationship – lately my dating life involves a bad date here and there, maybe someone that is worth a second date, usually ending with me thinking that I don’t mind so much the fact that I get to decide what I want to do without factoring someone else in. It’s not ideal, but hey I guess it’s better than feeling like I am missing out for now.  I’ve watched a few friends go through some recent bad break ups – and watching them and remembering your own painful experiences just sucks, particularly when you thought things were going well.  I’ve definitely had the blindsided break up, you think this is going pretty well, maybe there’s something here – the two of you are making plans, hanging out, staying at each other’s places, and then he comes over and tells you he doesn’t feel that way about you. It’s a complete bummer in life, because honestly most singles would like to meet someone who will be in it for the long haul.  To find out someone doesn’t have the feelings you are hoping/expecting hurts, hurts a lot. I’ve also experienced the fade out, the slow progression of talking less, hanging less, fewer text messages (anyone else hate what smart phones did to dating? Remember when you had to call someone to make plans?), and then nothing. I mean I’ve done it myself to guys too, and it’s really not a grown up approach to anything – but then again neither one of you is pushing too hard to try this or force a conversation. The only thing worse is prolonging a break up, because as long as you hold on, the longer it takes to move forward, and potentially meet that special person. I think the important to remember is to be kind to people, even when you are going to end the relationship- after all we all are a little fragile some times.

(photo from life in quotations)

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